How the NFL Can Own the Fourth of July
Joe Rondone/The Republic / USA TODAY NETWORK
Nobody dominates the calendar like the NFL. At almost every time of the year, the NFL is King. Pick a day between September and February. Guess what the No. 1 story on SportsCenter is: It’s football, baby. Except for Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays, of course. Those are owned by the NFL’s games. In the spring? Free agency and the Draft rule the roost, even as the NBA and NHL playoffs are in full swing. In August? It’s all about minicamp and preseason roster battles.
It’s not just regular days the NFL can claim. Thanksgiving is all theirs, to the point where football is inseparable from the holiday. The NFL is posterizing the NBA when it comes to Christmas Day ratings, a day basketball once claimed as its own. It’s out of the kindness of their hearts that college football still keeps New Year’s Day. Once the league gets its coveted 18th regular-season game, President’s Day will become Super Bowl Recovery Day.
But there’s one spot on the calendar that inexplicably is not copyrighted by the NFL for the private use of their audience — without any other use of it or any pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the holiday without the NFL’s consent being prohibited: Today. July 4. The most American sport doesn’t own the most American holiday? How is that even possible.
We’re fixing that today. Here are three ideas for the NFL to own the Fourth of July the same way they own every other spot on the calendar.
Offensive Line Eating Contest
Some hot dog stand in New York has a stranglehold on the eating scene? No, no way. If the NFL can wrench Christmas Day from the NBA’s hands, they can destroy Major League Eating without breaking a sweat. Well, maybe some meat sweats.
How do they do that? Get the biggest five dudes on a team together and see how much they can eat. Every July 4, the NFL puts on a five-on-five eating competition featuring four-to-eight teams from around the league. If there’s a lack of volunteers, they can go Hard Knocks rules — If you don’t make the playoffs the year before, you’re eligible to be drafted into a tournament you can win. Hype it up like boxing and wrestling, with trash-talking promos and before-and-after weigh-ins.
We give such little spotlight to the offensive lines 364 days of the year, and this can be their time to shine and let their personalities fly. It’s also a money-making gold mine. The rights to sponsor the Offensive Line Eating Contest are going to be a bidding war. Hell, bring in Joey Chestnut to be a ringer. Have fun with it, and famously put Nathan’s out of business.
Players vs. Players Madden Tournament
Currently, the NFL uses Madden as part of their Pro Bowl Skills Competition, but they woefully underutilize it. One game of Madden? Four players getting the controller for the entire event? You could change the Super Bowl to a field goal-kicking contest and still not waste its potential as much as they do with Madden.
Because here’s the thing: So many NFL players love Madden. They play it, sometimes instead of watching film! You can absolutely bring 32 players together to put bragging rights (and a big cash prize) on the line to play a one-day, 32-team Madden tournament on July 4. Hold a Draft for each player to pick their team, or scramble them up with a pre-taped 32-way Franchise Fantasy Draft.
It’s also a great way to build hype for the games, which drop annually in August. Get advanced copies of the new games to players in June, and let them show off the new features, give a sneak peak at player ratings, and more on the Fourth of July. There’s no reason not to do this.
Founding Fathers Games
Put an American name on an alumni Flag Football tournament with the Founding Fathers Games. Get a 7-on-7 flag football team with alumni from each of the eight NFL Divisions, and let them play it out over three weeks, with the opener coming on the Fourth of July.
Going with All-Division Alumni teams is perfect for a three-week tournament, with four games to start, then two, then a Championship in mid-to-late July. It also offers some combinations that would be cool to see, even from retired NFLers. You want to see Brett Favre throwing to Megatron? Hell yeah, you do. Maybe we can let Divisions trade with each other mid-tournament, so long as they’re alumni of both Divisions. Who hangs up first in a proposed Phillip Rivers for Peyton Manning trade? The AFC West or AFC North?
Have it culminate in a Founding Fathers Bowl. Borrow a page from the Stanley Cup, and give each player on the winning team one day with the U.S. Constitution in their possession. That’d kick ass, but not as much as having some fun NFL stuff for the Fourth of July. Just give us something.
Up Next