It’s Time For the Bengals To Ask, “What If…?”
Credit: Sam Greene via Imagn Images
In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there is a character – Uatu – who is a member of an advanced group of fifth-dimensional beings known simply as “The Watchers.” In “What If…?” Marvel’s acclaimed animated series of the same name, Uatu utters the following speech to kick off each episode’s adventure: “I see all these vast new realities. Open your eyes. Dare to face the unknown. And ponder the question, ‘What if …?’”
As keen comic book readers likely know, Uatu has taken an oath that prohibits him from interfering with the realities he observes. He has only broken his oath in extreme instances, such as when the AI nightmare that is Ultron sensed his presence, forcing his hand to save numerous timelines in the Multiverse. (If you’re not a Marvel fan, that’s on you. But stick with me – I promise this is going somewhere.)
In the National Football League’s universe, as far as we know, there is only one timeline. It’s dominated this season by a few storylines, each being driven by a multitude of “What Ifs.” This includes whether the Kansas City Chiefs can go back-to-back-to-back as World Champions, if Saquon Barkley will break Eric Dickerson’s hallowed single-season rushing record, and if Lamar Jackson or Josh Allen will win their third MVP award, or perhaps, their first titles.
However, thanks to a season featuring inexplicable decisions, near-misses, and cardiac arrest-inducing finishes at every turn, the Cincinnati Bengals now find themselves in a very Uatu-like position asking themselves the same question: “What If?”
Not only does Cincinnati head into its Week 18 matchup – fittingly against their biggest rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers – in a must-win situation, but even if they win, they’re in the hands of the football gods and their capricious playoff scenarios.
That, in turn, is why Bengals Head Coach Zac Taylor may now be in his office at Paycor Stadium, feeling much like another Marvel character, Dr. Stephen Strange, realizing there is only one way the Bengals reach the postseason; Defeat Pittsburgh, pray the Denver Broncos – whom they just beat in their craziest game of the season – lose to the Chiefs, who are likely resting their starters. On top of that, they have to hope the dismal New York Jets beat a slightly-less-dismal Miami Dolphins team.
While the odds are highly improbable, you can generally count on the Bengals to produce improbable outcomes – both for good and bad. But what does this upcoming weekend mean to the future of the franchise? As Uatu would say, the realities are vast…
What If… The Bengals Make It?
- Joe Burrow – the Bengals’ own Iron Man – should win the MVP.If “numbers never lie,” Burrow’s gaudy stats are an airtight case as to why he is what the letters of the award stand for. There is no way – absolutely, positively, unequivocally – the Bengals are where they are without No. 9 under center.Burrow has worked behind patchwork offensive lines his entire NFL career, and now, in 2024, he finds himself saddled with a defense putting up historically wretched numbers. Since the MVP should be renamed the “Most Valuable QB” award, there will be no more valuable QB than Burrow if the Bengals reach the postseason.With the fifth- and fifteenth-best ranked defenses, respectively, Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs and Jackson and the Ravens have playmakers on both sides of the ball to help guide them through. Yes, Allen is having a monster season, but with a 13-3 record, that’s to be expected. At 8-8 and nearing 5,000 passing yards, however, Burrow is matching Allen’s incredible numbers, and then some.
- They’ll have to find a way to re-sign Tee HigginsHiggins is a player who frustrates the tar out of me, and is a microcosm of the Bengals’ frustrating lack of consistency in one player. While the man can be electric in the biggest moments, he is also injury-prone and, as Saturday also proved, capable of making a dropped pass or fumble at the worst time possible.That being said, Higgins is clearly Burrow’s No. 2 target behind Ja’Marr Chase, and Mike Gesicki is on a one-year deal with the Bengals developing a nasty habit of letting their free agent tight ends walk. But as has been documented in previous features on this site, the Bengals’ pass-catching options just aren’t there yet, and the team can’t avoid taking a step back without Higgins in the fold.
- They could go all the way back to the Super BowlThe Bengals are a lot like the Avengers (yes, another Marvel reference). They only do their best work together when EVERYTHING is on the line. A team that couldn’t beat the Jacoby Brissett-led New England Patriots – at home nonetheless – in September is now on a four-game winning streak to put them into the playoff hunt. The Bengals are a team that excels in not making sense, and therefore, it would only make sense for this formerly 4-8 team to make a real run.
What If… The Bengals Miss?
- Lou Anarumo should take the fall for the defense… BUT…We’ve covered that the defense has been historically bad, and while it might have bought some time for the man in charge on Saturday, a playoff miss will almost certainly leave Lou Anarumo out as defensive coordinator.Well, that’s what most fans would expect to happen, anyway. There’s often a difference between “What should the Bengals do?” and “What will the Bengals do?” Look how long they’ve weathered the storm to make changes amid worse situations during the year. Don’t be surprise if Anarumo survives the axe this offseason.
- Burrow might swap texts with Carson PalmerBurrow isn’t brash, but neither was Palmer when he demanded his release from the Bengals’ (then) non-winning ways. And given his longstanding concerns about Burrow in Cincinnati, it wouldn’t be all that surprising if they had a heart-to-heart, one former QB to a current one.
- The Draft will have to solve their problemsIf there are no playoffs, the 2025 NFL draft will immediately become the Bengals’ focus, with six picks (one in each of the first six rounds) to patch holes with. But what positions they’ll target are unclear. They could honestly use help at every single defensive position, with plenty of holes to fill if Higgins and/or Gesicki bolt this offseason. And who knows? They might be able to swing a draft day blockbuster.
As Uatu would say, “What If…?”
Up Next