The “Same Ol’ Bungles” Are Singing the Same Ol’ Song
Credit: Sam Greene via Imagn Images
It was the end of the third quarter. The Cincinnati Bengals were trailing 34-24 against their most hated AFC North rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Bengals, 4-7 coming into the game, were holding onto what they got: Not being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. It didn’t matter that everyone outside the locker room had wisely given up weeks ago. Despite losing several of their recent games, the team had (and somehow, still does as of Monday morning) a small percentage chance of somehow making the 2024 NFL Playoffs.
In that precise moment, the Bengals game ops staff did their finest work, striking up a song that summed up the entire situation perfectly: “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, the classic arena rock standard. That’s all Cincinnati had up their sleeves: merely telling us, We’ll make it, I swear! But in terms of closing that 10-point gap, the Bengals never even got halfway there.
Sunday’s game was merely the latest chapter in the team’s ongoing comedy of errors. Despite getting away with pass interference to give the Bengals a 7-0 lead with his first-quarter Pick-6, Cam Taylor-Britt racked up two more penalties on Sunday. Then again, he didn’t get an unnecessary roughness penalty, like Mike Hilton did, and Hilton compounded the mistake by getting burned for a TD pass from Russell Wilson to Calvin Austin III. The offensive line got worked for four sacks — two from perennial terror T.J. Watt — which included a forced fumble for a touchdown.
And those were only the big mistakes! Tee Higgins had more drops, the pass rush didn’t, and the Logan Wilson-less linebacker corps/secondary beefed up plenty of Steelers’ highlight reels with a plethora of missed tackles. But hey, Germaine Pratt insisted (despite being prodded about the poor tackling) that the Steelers were just getting the ball out quickly. It’s tough, so tough.
The most telling vocals, however, came during an unusually long press conference featuring the face of the franchise: Joe Burrow. In a session that lasted 11:37 seconds, Burrow uttered a phrase that will either be remembered as the turning point or death knell of 2024. “We will be remembered by how we handle this.”
He knows that better than anyone. For as rapidly as the Bengals ascended to the darling underdogs of the NFL in 2021, their return to “Same Ol’ Bungles” status has been just as sudden. While fans have increased their calls to have head coach Zac Taylor’s head on a platter (and perhaps served up next to Ohio State’s Ryan Day’s), Burrow’s media session featured him calmly saying what keen observers have known: Every week, there’s a new set of mistakes. Taylor has his fair share of faults, but coaches don’t miss tackles, drop passes, fail to read coverages, or miss blocking assignments.
Look, Michael Jordan could teach basketball to a six-year-old for a full year, but guess what happens when you put that kid in the NBA? He’s going to make Thanasis Antetokounmpo’s lowlight reel look like an And1 mixtape.
The Steelers have had great players for decades. It’s among the reasons Paycor often feels like a home game for them. Meanwhile, the Bengals’ inability to do what great teams do — or even what they did in 2021 — continues to doom them. One week, they can’t block. The next week, they can’t tackle. One game, they can’t catch. The next, they abandon the running game. The salary cap has forced their hands to let go of certain players, and their replacements reveal the difficulty the front office has in identifying non-franchise-level talent.
Unfortunately, the Bengals’ franchise player is feeling the mounting, Dan Marino-like pressure of having to be Superman surrounded by a bunch of Blue Beetles. While trying to be as diplomatic as possible, Burrow revealed just how much that is wearing on him. After all, as he said, “We’ll learn about who we have in the locker room [over the remaining weeks of the season], the guys that we can count on and the guys that we can’t.” While he’s not the type to throw anyone under the bus, it’s easy to read between the lines. Burrow was saying I know who in here is the type of player we need and I know you know I know, too.
And that is the most frustrating part of the 2024 season for Bengals fans. The Bengals may change some of the lineup, but the songs they sing — save for that 2021 run that feels like a decade ago — remain the same. Former players still criticize management; current ones seem to fail to see what Burrow, as well as many outside Paycor, do: The Bengals, as currently constructed, simply aren’t good enough in all three phases of the game.
And one phase, in particular. Several pundits across sports media have pointed out that the Bengals offense has scored points in bunches throughout the season only to be let down by historically bad defense. With so many fans calling for Taylor’s head, Bengals’ defensive coordinator Lou Anarumo should perhaps be the one worried about the chopping block at the end of the year. But even if the Bengals change defensive coordinators, will it be too little, too late to change? Then again, who knows? Maybe a new DC would be like Pharrell Williams coming in to revitalize Snoop Dogg’s career. When it comes to getting back to the NFL’s Hot 14 playoff charts, Cincinnati can use all the help they can get.
But for now, it’s the Same Ol’ Bungles singing the Same Ol’ Song. They’ll need to change their tune for 2025, and it can’t be Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again.” The hair metal ballads are dead, and if the Bengals don’t want to see their championship aspirations follow suit, they’ll need something else. Here’s to hoping it’s Sam Cooke.
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